My White Lotus

Acharya deyyam bhava. From ‘Teacher is God’ to ‘Teacher is Demon’.

An article I wrote in retrospection.

Link – Education.docx

As I begin to pen this down, I wonder how different the article would have been on a timeframe exactly a year back. Could my story be any different? I think so. I would have written an article surely from the ivory towers; an idealistic view, a romanticism which consumes you in the 20’s and makes you want to do bigger and constructive things for your country, a frame of mind which doesn’t make ‘n’ number of bullet points to tell you the reasons for why things will not happen, a world view which measures impact in micro terms than larger feel good numbers of tokenism. Anyways, here goes my mental time travel.

Point blank, I joined because I was tired of being part of a consuming generation and wanted to express my idealism constructively. I joined Unilever at the expense of an international job for satisfying the nationalist within me. I have always worn my patriotism on my sleeve. I still get goose bumps when I sing the national anthem and do the pledge. I fell for the Hindustan lever vision,” To make a real difference to each and every Indian”. I rationalized that I worked for a company whose products reach out to 2 out of 3 Indians and make a difference to everyday life.

I wonder what went through the mind of Ram when he doubted Sita’s integrity? I wonder what happens in the mind of Dusshasana when he decides to publicly dishonour Draupadi. I wonder what happens in the mind of a lion when it kills its own offspring? What happened in the mind of the crew who dropped the atom bomb on the fateful August 6th morning? What happens in our mind when we decide to bribe instead of persevere? What happens in the human mind in each of those moments where you see your true skin?

‘Identity crisis’ as Erikson defines it is when an individual loses a sense of personal sameness and historical continuity. In all those moments, I guess when the creature doesn’t demonstrate the personal sameness which the mind convinced itself over the years to be the truth, it pains. But it is in those moments that life offers a defining chance to redeem yourself as a being, if you choose to pause and reflect and ask the most fundamental question, “ Who am I?” “Is this me?”

Life is uncomplicated during childhood; at least so if you have grown up in a family where love and warmth have been unconditional, decisions taken for you and all you had to do was do your small bit. Of course, your dilemmas were simple: whether to eat sugar under the eyes of your mother or not, whether to help your friend in an exam or not, whether to beat a kid up on the ground or not, whether to laugh mockingly at a person or not etc.

Growing up to make choices during secondary school, college, university and at job introduces you to the world of attitudes and beliefs, prejudices and biases, hypocrisies and platitudes, tradeoffs and return on investments. Now, you are born to be good and your parents and teachers always prescribed the right way of life. Now, what went wrong when I did give in to pass the exam sheet to a friend at school? Now, what went wrong when envy was the dominant emotion during IIT JEE preparation days?

Now, what went wrong when I decided to be indifferent to one of my best friend at college? Now, what went wrong when I couldn’t take all the rejections humbly? Now, what went wrong when empathy was packed in a neat packet inside a cupboard during work at levers? Now, what goes wrong when I am quick enough to be critical while I am not quick enough to give every person his due? Now, what goes wrong when I still can’t make love win over lust?

Why did I have to make the convenient choice always instead of having the resolve to take the difficult path? Why is it difficult to be good and find your true identity? Why is it difficult to be the same person as you were before you made sense of the world? A child always with a sense of wonder, with the unending capacity to learn, with infinite ability to empathize and forgive, with love and compassion unconditionally to every being, with no identity of nation, religion, race, caste, alumnus and a designation. Why should the path to self actualization have to come at the cost of debasing yourself for security, affiliation and esteem needs?

In the space of answers to these difficult questions lies the business of fundamentalism (The delusion of your truth as the absolute truth).Fundamentalism of nations, religions, states, races, castes and et.all. I reject all of them vehemently. My only identity is as the son of this soil, Mother India.

In the mindfulness in the daily moments when I say the pledge as a teacher, lies my prayer time and my goose bump moment every day.
“India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters. I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage. I shall always strive to be worthy of it. I shall give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with due courtesy. To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion. In their well being and prosperity along lies my happiness”

And in this identity as child in the bosom of my mother, I seek the oneness in myself and my historical continuity, and in the true spirit of the word – my Dharma.

The following is an essay I wrote for a competition with AspenIndia.

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My White Lotus
The search for Utopia within the muck

A white lotus is the epitome of primordial purity – a metaphor for self, community, society, nation and the world. Depends on where you decide to set your lens, it represents the full blossoming of wholesome deeds in blissful liberation, floating above the muddy waters of attachment, desire and self indulgence.

I set my lens on my country, India, and on the waters of human capital and knowledge society for this idea. The demographic advantage has been a source of hope for every seeker of India, 37% within the 15-35 range compared to the 25% of the next youngest country in the world, China. (Incidentally, one of its counterpart in the BRIC development story).This is the inside track that India has been gifted compared to its meticulous neighbor in the rush to the stakes at the top of the pile. However, in this quest for a strong identity on the world map, India’s boon might turn out to be a bane if doesn’t make enough of this resource. A team is only as good as its players, so is a nation as good as its people. So, what is the big idea that can fulfill the potential of each and every young individual in India?

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Cheers,

Tarun